What make's for a good conversation with children?

To raise happy and healthy children is a goal every parent has in common. It's also a struggle every parent shares. Believe it or not, it's a goal that our children share as well. They want to be happy just as much as we want them to be, but there’s a divide between our lifetime of experiences and their absence of experience, which is filled with limitless imagination. We want to teach them right from wrong because we know from experience where making poor decisions can lead. Learning about life's consequences comes from experience and observation. Our experiences, often painful, lend credibility to our observations. We can combine the two to guide ourselves and our children through uncertain times. The challenge is figuring out how to convey our experiences and observations to them so they don’t have to repeat the mistakes we’ve learned from in our lives.

Having a good conversation with children—or anyone, really—comes down to one simple, well-known truth: you can't understand if you can't relate.

No matter how well-intentioned our advice, there will always be a gap between what we can teach our children and what they can learn. Children cannot fully internalize abstract explanations about cause and effect. The idea that a series of small, poor decisions can lead to catastrophic outcomes is, thankfully, beyond them—and fortunately, they are unburdened by it. However, both good and bad behaviors are learned early, and influences from family, community, and culture can set a child up for a lifetime of success. For the sake of this post, I’ll focus on how families can harness the power of children’s imaginations to foster and nurture a child's moral foundation.

Children learn and grow through their imaginations. What they watch, read, see, and how they play can have a powerful impact on how they perceive the world. These perceptions influence their interests, and those interests will capture their attention. Classic moral stories from Aesop and the Brothers Grimm are timeless tales handed down through generations, helping children grasp bigger concepts through magical storytelling.

Reading these kinds of powerful fables creates a lasting connection between children and their parents. Children hear the words in their parents' voices, the stories unfold in their minds, and their imaginations are supercharged. The stories, often set in vague places and unspecified times, leave plenty of space for parents to fill in the gaps. Questions abound, from the hilarious to the serious, all providing the foundation for meaningful conversations.

When a child asks you questions about these stories—whether silly, fantastic, or strange—they are starting a conversation with you. The stories you share create something both you and they can relate to. You can use these stories to explore how your children view the world, gaining valuable insights into their developing opinions on important concepts like honesty, kindness, fairness, and equality. Not only can you gain this insight, but you can also use these moments to help shape your children’s views on complex topics that may be challenging for them to understand.

In the end, the goal is to raise healthy and happy children. Family story time is a wonderful way to lay the foundation for many meaningful conversations, based on mutual understanding and shared experience. Use the power of your children’s imagination to help you guide them as they grow into happy and healthy people.

With all my love,

Becky